


broken satellites

by thedisasternerd



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: ??? - Freeform, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Dialogue Heavy, Everything is Beautiful and Everything Hurts, Introspection, M/M, Philosophy, Post-Order 66
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:40:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24288283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedisasternerd/pseuds/thedisasternerd
Summary: “I’m here, though.” Cody whispers, his hands settling on Obi-Wan’s cheeks, thumbs brushing over his skin, his bones, his eyelids, feathering over his lips as he exhales, shuddering. “We’rehere. Open your eyes.”“I can’t.” Obi-Wan sobs. “Ican’t.”“Please, Obi-Wan.” Cody knocks their foreheads together and Obi-Wan can smell dust and ashes, the tang of sweat, can feel Cody’s hands buried in his hair, clutching at it almost painfully, and there are drops on his face, their tears mingling. He’s trembling, or maybe Cody’s shivering, maybe they’re both shaking apart, broken souls finally,finallyshattering so that they can be mended properly. “Ni ceta,ni ceta, just, gedet'ye,please.”---They meet, an eternity later, their boots stirring the dust at the edge of the universe.
Relationships: CC-2224 | Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi
Comments: 23
Kudos: 298





	broken satellites

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this at 2am, listening to sleeping at last (oh, the irony). Title and quote at the start are from Mars by said artist.  
> Unbeta'd, practically unedited, and I might make a series out of this. We'll see.  
> Hope you enjoy!

> _there is goodness in the heart_
> 
> _of every broken man_
> 
> _who comes right up to the edge_
> 
> _of losing everything he has_

"How long has it been?" Obi-Wan asks, not turning around. He stands on a sand dune and doesn't move, _can't_ move. Instead, he stares at the sunrise over the desert, blinking at the light.

There's what could be a quiet intake of breath behind him. Or it could be the wind trailing its cold fingers through the sand, or he could be going senile after years in the desert with only the occasional Jawa or Tusken raider for company, along with the rare lost bantha, or a lone Krayt dragon howling in the distance. He could finally be breaking apart, the Force and his mind combining to play the cruelest tricks on him, driving the stake ever deeper into his heart, into the fracture lines in his soul.

"Too long." Comes Cody's quiet voice. It's hoarse with emotions that Obi-Wan doesn't want to name.

He still doesn't turn around.

"Four years, I think." He rubs at his arms, eyes straying over the multi-coloured tapestry of the horizon. "It was Luke's birthday recently. Or the day when. You know."

"Yeah."

It's silent, again. Obi-Wan doesn't know if that's truly _Cody_ , behind him, or some distant echo of the past, ricocheting in his brain.

He finds that he's scared. Scared that Cody isn't real. That when he turns around, there'll be nothing. He's scared that the person he'll find is not the Cody he knew but he's also scared that if he turns around it'll be _Cody_ , smiling at him, eyes like molten gold in the sunlight.

So he doesn't turn around. He cranes his head and stares up at the sky, at the last of the stars, fading into pale blue. 

"So where have you been?" He asks the sky. The sky doesn't answer; only the wind whispers in his ears, the sand a faint susurrus around him. "What have you seen?"

"Too much." Comes the quiet reply, an eternity and yet only a heartbeat later. 

The sand shifts under his feet. He looks up again, gets lost once more in his memories, in his own head, in the sky he can't reach. He's suspended between the ground and the atmosphere, nothing stable left, but no hopes to reach for.

He does not let his mind wander. That way lies pain. 

"What have you done, then?"

"Too much." A sigh, again, heavy with pain and unanswered questions; despondent answers to questions they’re too scared to ask. "And not enough."

"Everything and nothing." Obi-Wan breathes out and his breath mists in the cold air of the dawn, silver in the pink light. "Living in death, dying in living. Paradoxes, paradoxes, my dear."

He hears what could be a shuddering breath. 

"I did it all, but I did nothing." Cody's voice is cracking apart, each break a blaster shot. "I'm _him_ , I'm CC-2224 but I'm also me... Cody. Just- Cody. But. I’m not CC-2224, anymore. I’m just Cody, now."

"Indeed you are." Obi-Wan can feel the tears on his cheeks, scalding. "Cody."

He huddles deeper into his cloak, against the wind, against the hope, building up, taking him higher, little by little. He’s scared that when he turns around, that hope will crumble, leaving only remnants of silver-tongued lies and his broken soul.

"No-one has said my name in four years." Cody says, almost wondering, and he's closer now, all around. "Obi-Wan."

The way he says it leaves Obi-Wan in a paroxysm of agony. He breathes through it, wondering when his ribs cracked.

"I too, haven't heard that name in years."

Cody snorts, the sound wet among the aching dryness of the desert, rain in a drought. Obi-Wan craves it, oddly.

"I remember." He starts, "You said once, that you were destined for infinite sadness."

"Yes." Obi-Wan closes his eyes, the morning air cold on his face, making the tear tracks on his face burn with it. "That's true."

"But." Cody's close now, nearer and yet so far away, bright in the Force, bright gold filled with cracks of dark blue like the depths of Kamino's oceans and septic black scabs. "Why?"

" _Kaiidth_." Obi-Wan squeezes his eyes tighter, not wanting to not see Cody and have his soul broken irreparably. "What is, is, Cody."

The silence is a hand around his throat.

“So I killed all those people.” Cody sobs, anger and terror and self-hatred red like a festering wound. “And you’re telling me I should just - _live_ with it? Besides, that’s hypocritical.”

It is Obi-Wan’s turn to not answer. 

“So here we are.” Cody’s bitter now. “At the end of the universe. The soldier and his general. A murderer and a pariah.”

“Here we are.” Obi-Wan opens his eyes, staring into the suns that are cresting the horizon, temporarily blind. “The war is over, now. What are we to society, but monsters?”

Cody laughs, the sound a muted scream.

“What am I to life but death, a killer, a soulless murderer?”

“What are you to life but a broken soul?” Obi-Wan whispers, closing his eyes again. “What were you to life but a toy, used and then cast aside?”

“Doesn’t change anything, Obi-Wan. My hands are covered in blood.”

“If that is the case, then so are mine. Not only that, but all the water in the galaxy wouldn’t be enough to wash away the blood I’m covered in; for I am become Death, destroyer of worlds.”

“ _No_.” The vehemence of the answer almost startles Obi-Wan into turning around, but he’s too numb, now.

“Why not?”

“ _‘It is our choices that bleed. Our intent that stains.’_ You said so yourself.”

“Then you are no more a monster than I am, Cody. You didn’t _choose_ to raise your blaster, you didn’t _want_ to kill all those people.”

“And yet I did exactly that. And now you can’t even look at me.”

Obi-Wan finally, finally turns around.

There's a startled gasp behind him, close, too close, and his hand itches for his lightsaber from all those dreams. He wants to open his eyes but he still _can't._

“I can’t- I can’t look at you because I’m a- a _coward_.” He doesn’t open his eyes, even when hands flutter around his face, not quite touching, but there all the same. “I am over the edge of losing _everything_ I have ever had. Hope will, will _destroy_ me.”

“I’m here, though.” Cody whispers, his hands settling on Obi-Wan’s cheeks, thumbs brushing over his skin, his bones, his eyelids, feathering over his lips as he exhales, shuddering. “ _We’re_ here. Open your eyes.”

“I can’t.” Obi-Wan sobs. “I _can’t_.”

“Please, Obi-Wan.” Cody knocks their foreheads together and Obi-Wan can smell dust and ashes, the tang of sweat, can feel Cody’s hands buried in his hair, clutching at it almost painfully, and there are drops on his face, their tears mingling. He’s trembling, or maybe Cody’s shivering, maybe they’re both shaking apart, broken souls finally, _finally_ shattering so that they can be mended properly. “Ni ceta _, ni ceta,_ just, gedet'ye, _p_ _lease_.”

And Obi-Wan opens his eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> mando'a:  
> ni ceta - I kneel, form of grovelling apology  
> gedet'ye - please
> 
> Please leave kudos and comments, they make my day :) my love to y'all, stay safe, and don't give up hoping.
> 
> Come drop by and chat/yell with me [here](https://thedisasternerd.tumblr.com/)


End file.
